Roman's miles

Never do "davka" to your boss

Davka (דוקא)  has no clear translation. "Spitefully" or "despite everything" may be the closest possible. Norman Geras struggles here to explain too. An example could be a situation when in (open and clear) disagreement with your boss you davka keep doing what you think is right. I don't think it's right (for you).

I've seen my colleagues and friends after not agreeing with the boss in an open conversation keep carrying out their own position. They don't succeed to convince the boss to change his mind and nevertheless continue pursuing their theory. By doing opposite to what the boss requires they sabotage his instructions trying to prove their own point of view. Needless to say it's dangerous.

First and foremost for your career. Very likely career advancement with your current boss will be put on hold rather soon. You'll build an aura of a stubborn and unmanageable employee that very few will want to work with. Regardless of whether you're right or not. 

Now I'm not saying you have to be a yes-sayer. Opinionated and confident people "davka" get visibility and earn positive reputation. I'm just saying that when the controversy is over you must follow the decision of your boss even if you don't agree. An option to resign (change the team, role, position, the boss) also exist. Use all your might and energy while the discussion is in progress but give up when the decision has been made.

The very last case is whistle blowing. An ethical problem or an illegal witnessed activity can be a cause to signal up the chain of command. It's a separate topic but before you whistle be sure you're ready to withstand the consequences.

Technorati tags: davka, boss, loyalty

In memory of my grandma

Today is two years as my grandmother Natalia passed to a better world. I want to recall here the bright tracks she left in my life in education, insightful thinking, life experience, and a slew of advice she conveyed to me in at times strange and funny Russian.

Born Torgashova in 1907 in Tsaritsyn she was the youngest daughter in Adrian's, hatter, family. She had three older brothers but her father could afford to send only her to a grammar school. For him this fact (not successful business or own house) was the achievement in his life. The Communist Revolution and the following Civil War broke their life. When WW-II started she had lost her first husband in Stalin's camps and left alone with her old mother, a 12 year old son, 5 year old daughter, and just born another son from the second husband that had gone to the front. She didn't evacuate  and stayed in the city (then Stalingrad) with the family bearing all the troubles (if I can use this word to describe life during the bloodiest battle in human history) on her self. They all survived and continued living in Volgograd restoring it from scratch. Soon after the war ended my she gave birth to my mother.

She was a school teacher teaching language art, reading, and German. She retired as a school principle and devoted herself to community activities by becoming a chairwoman of a community trail (something similar to mediator in civil cases).

Her mission in the life was to give high education to all her kids and to "grow them decent people". She had been repeating this phrase a countless number of times as the motto in her life and the message she wanted to pass to us. She succeeded in both missions. All her kids got a second degree in medicine, engineering, and music.

She tremendously valued the family principles and all the time, while she was with us, all her kids with their families came to our house every weekend - she was the cornerstone of our big family. She had a bit strange but hilarious sense of humor and on the topic of families told me often (waiting a moment when my wife could certainly hear it) - "rOmushka,  you won't take a yoke off your neck once you put it". She called people succeeded in anything but family building "good-for-nothing" and could not stand divorces. Being a irreligious person almost all her life she nevertheless believed in Haven's involvement in the marriage.

During all the day I've been recalling her face, phrases, songs, jokes; the way she talked and educated us - not lecturing but through stories and baizes; the values she did succeed to instill into our life principles. I think she would be happy and proud of me did she know I'm getting my second master and we're waiting for fourth child:-)

Living all her life in very narrow circumstances she lived her life up to the same principles - being a decent person and making the family  the foremost important and unshakable value. I hope we'll succeed too to pass her life principles to our children and bless her memory.

In an attempt to restart all...

The blog has bogged. I haven't touched it for months - last post in April. I didn't impress Thomas - MBA, travels, the new house, a new role, the pregnant wife didn't leave time for blogging. I though I had to sacrifice a few things to let others get through. A sad conclusion is the opposite. The less things you have on your plate, the less pressure you experience, the less urgency you feel, the lower effectiveness falls.

When you add more and more on your plate, the pressure increases, the craziness is building up, and most likely - your efficiency drops. But in absolute numbers you reach more. When you try pick up instead of prioritize, to scratch out instead of decrease a share, to stop doing instead of lowering the pace your internal pushing engine deteriorates, slows down, and may even die. The worst thing is the fuel that drives you - read the excitement of achievements - loses quality.

I knew it before. But somehow let myself to forget. The only way to climb is to push your self. To climb one needs targets - run a marathon, get the blog to top 100, complete an MBA, lose 10 lbs, earn money to buy a yacht.

I'm back to blogging, running, and pushing (how it is easy to write a promising blog at midnight instead of running:-). I'll blog about the same topics, about what I've done while in the oblivion, and what I'm up to. I'm planning to make the categories more meaningful and redesign the blog (for now changing my picture as the first step:-) Tomorrow is an exam on the law class. Not sure I'll find time to run. At worst, I'm putting this blog under the Running category.

Life is good! I'm back!

Technorati tags: restart, gtd, motivation